People love a good story about a bad date. During a girls night in with my Park Ridge girls, they encouraged me to write about some of my experiences. Here goes…
The Cheap Ass…
There was this one guy who I reconnected with from college. He kept asking me out & I kept blowing him off for a few months, but finally gave in. So we make plans to meet on a Wednesday night, at a bar for a couple drinks. About 20 min before we were supposed to meet he texts me, "Hey, I was thinking about grilling some burgers tonight, did you want to come over?" Umm…what? I thought we were meeting at a bar for drinks? Was I confused? Was that a different night? Why aren't we sticking to the original plan? I replied, "Oh no, that's ok, if you want to reschedule that's totally fine." He said, "No, that's fine, I'll see you at the bar." This wasn't looking good, but I was staying open minded.
As I walked up to the bar, he was getting out of his car - drink can in hand. We walk into the bar together, & they seat us - drink can still in hand. Umm...what? This bar was not BYOB, why were they allowing this? Where was I? So we sit down & I order a drink & he orders an appetizer. We sat there, catching up, talking about our current lives, mostly talking about him. He didn't ask me one question about myself, which was different...but he just kept talking about himself, so I went with it. It wasn't necessarily a painful conversation, just odd.
The amazing thing was the information he chose to tell me, on a date - he valets only 16 hours/week & doesn't understand why he doesn't make a 6 figure salary, he didn't think you needed to work that hard in order to live luxuriously. I'm not even kidding. I explained to him that I work 2 jobs, about 60 hours/week, & I don't make 6 figures, I couldn't believe that he thought minimum work would lead to maximum dollars.
Then, he tells me about how he steals money from his valet company - he would valet cars, but not ticket them, charge the client the valet price, & then pocket the money. Perhaps this is a very common practice in the valet field, I don't know; I've gotten in cabs where they don't run the meter & pocket the cash I give them, so I figure this is somewhat similar. What amazed me was that he thought this was a good idea to share on a date.
It doesn't end there, though! He also explained to me how he steals from the grocery store. He would buy a case of booze or something & go to the self checkout, instead of scanning it, he would select that it is produce - bananas to be specific. Apparently a couple pounds of bananas are cheaper than a case of booze.
Real class act I was with, here. This lasted about an hour & we asked for the bill, I was ready to go. Once the bill came, he didn't even attempt to offer to pay for it. Now, I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, I'm fully capable of paying my own way, but not even offering to split the bill with me seemed offensive. So I paid for my drink & his food (I didn't eat any of the appetizer) & we left. I had no desire to hear from him again, but I did the following week! Want to know what he said? "Hey, I matched with your friend, Britney, on Tinder. Can you put in a good word for me? She's a total babe." Yea dude, I'll tell her all about you.
The Allergic Reaction…
So this was a third date with a guy that I was into. The date plan was I would go to his house, we would get dinner, & then go back to his place to watch House of Cards (season 3 had just come out).
Obviously, communication is an issue for dudes in their late 20s, or maybe I'm the crazy one, who knows… but, he texts me at noon saying, "Hey, are you still coming over after work tonight? I forgot I had a party to go to" Is he canceling or telling me that we are changing plans? I had no idea. I said, "I can be flexible with the evening, just let me know what you want to do or what time I should be there." I didn't hear anything from him until 6:30 (I was supposed to be at his house at 7), he said, "Yea come over at 7, we will get dinner & watch HOC" uhhh…ok, but I'm going to be late now, since you live on the far north side. But, I was looking forward to the evening.
I get there & he says he wants to get takeout from his favorite Thai restaurant (it wasn't that great). We get back & are eating & watching House of Cards. I noticed he kept itching his face, I asked him if he was ok, he said, "Yea, is it itchy in here?" Umm…no, that's not a thing!
His skin gets all blotchy & broken out in hives, his eyes start getting really swollen, & he was having a hard time breathing. I asked him if he had Benadryl. He didn't. I suggested we go to Walgreens, but he kept saying he was fine & it would go away. He was getting worse by the second, I felt I was reliving the scene from the movie Hitch, when Will Smith had a shellfish allergy.
Somehow I finally convinced him to come with me to Walgreens. He takes the Benadryl in the car & by the time we were back to his place, about a 5 minute drive, he was instantly better. The one downfall - he was high off Benadryl the rest of the night.
The 3 Minute Worker…
Remember how I told you about the Cheap Ass who only worked 16 hours/week & thought he deserved a higher paycheck? Perhaps I am the crazy one, because I recently went on a date with another guy who had a similar mindset.
This guy was a stock trader, which I don't know anything about. He was telling me that the previous week, he only worked about 3 minutes. THAT WHOLE WEEK. Apparently, that was a normal work week for him. He just needs a few seconds to look at his computer, make some trades, & that's it. Then, he has the whole day to do whatever he wants - drink, play skeeball, watch TV, whatever he wants. But, he did wish he had more money to play with. Well, homeboy, how about with all of that free time you get a 2nd job?
These are only 3 dates with guys who didn't click with me. I do have to admit, I've had far more good dates than bad ones.
Happy dating :)
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