Ghosting

I have a love/hate relationship with dating. Dating can be awesome...meeting new people, exploring new places, flirting, getting butterflies, dressing up, cuddling, stepping out of your comfort zone. Mornings seem easier, nights become more fun, work doesn't seem so unbearable…it's awesome. But it also sucks. I hear these ancient stories of courtship, where people would be asked out on dates in person; people would call their sweethearts & actually talk to them on the telephone; deep interpersonal connections were made, in person; couples would take it slow, enjoy the moment, savor the relationship. This still happens in today's world, but these relationships seem far & few between.

Text messaging, emailing, & social media take the place of actual conversations. Relationships are defined based on a Facebook status or a profile picture. Instead of courting your person of interest, you seem to be courting your phone - constantly checking it to see if they sent you a message, liked your instagram picture, viewed your snap chat, when was the last time they were on Tinder,  did they tweet anything…the list goes on & on.

Not only are relationships established on that smart little phone of yours that has the ability to control your emotions, but they are also unestablished. The term "ghosting" is so common that I've heard my mother drop it in everyday conversation. Urban Dictionary, who defines everything from "ABC Sex" to "Zairb," has the perfect definition for ghosting. Basically, ignore the person until they go away.

It happens all the time, I have friends who have been ghosted by their serious boyfriends, I know plenty of people who lost interest so they stopped responding to their sweetheart, I'm pretty certain I have even ghosted my fair share of men. I was even ghosted on my birthday - boyfriend of 6 months was avoiding a fight (about bailing on my birthday plans) so he ghosted me.

It's the easy way out, but it is also cowardly. Problems don't just go away, issues aren't resolved by ignoring them, breakups aren't any easier if you just cease communication. It's disgusting that we live in a world where this behavior is tolerated. We allow ourselves to be used and abused when we accept ghosting as a breakup method - whether it's been 2 dates or 200.

Breakups are hard, they suck for all parties involved, but they are also where you grow. Breakups help you understand what went wrong, allow you to process the whole ordeal, & help you to grieve your relationship properly. As much as it sucks to tell a person you're no longer feeling it, it's far better to TELL them, than to ghost them.