What Went Well

While stuck in a rut, someone suggested that every night I journal the 3 W's of my day: What Went Well. It's a habit I began to love, so I thought I would share what I learned:

Something good always happens - Even on the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, something always goes well. Most days, multiple things go well…you just have to stop & think.

Reflection is soothing - Looking back on your day helps you realize that those moments that caused you anxiety were really no big deal (usually). Taking some time to reflect on your day & process the events that occurred allows you to keep things into perspective.

It's all relative - Not everyone experiences the same positive moments that you do. The little things that you take delight in can cause angst for the person next to you. It's ok, accept it & keep moving forward.

Journaling is therapeutic - I've never been a fan of journaling, I got bored keeping I diary growing up, but I found this task very easy & therapeutic. I caught myself thinking throughout the day, 'I can add this moment to my What Went Well list tonight.'

The vibes you focus on weigh the heaviest - While constantly taking note of the What Went Well moments of my day, I lost focus on the What Went Bad moments of my day. Those negative moments just stopped carrying weight…my positive vibes ended up weighing more than my negative vibes.

I fully believe that the energy you release into the universe comes back at you, ten-fold. Life is too short for bad vibes.

Mo Goes…Off Social Media

I pride myself on having a few amount of quality friends over having a large number of acquaintances. My different groups of friends are as unique as the individuals in them. I have my gym favorites, my city friends, my work family, my Park Ridge girls, & my college friends. I love each group dearly, & each of them provides a different benefit to my life.

The smallest group is my city friends - it consists of me & 2 of my best friends. They're beautiful & we make a good team. You would think 3 girls hanging out would be painful - someone would get left out/teased/hurt/annoyed, etc. But that's just the thing, we aren't girls - we're women. Awesome, amazing, strong, women who lift each other up & support each other unconditionally. 

After a challenging week for all of us - ghosting, roommate troubles, working long hours, friend fights…we were all struggling in one aspect of our lives or another. That's when one of us had the brilliant idea to detox our lives from social media for at least one week - no Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter, no Snapchat, no LinkedIn, no Tinder, no Happn, none of it! Just my fancy little blog here :) 

Now, I won't lie, the thought of this caused a little bit of anxiety. I'm constantly attached to my phone…what was I going to do, just use my phone as a phone? That seemed ridiculous. But, I was ready for the challenge & my 2 bests were going to be right by my side. 

I had concerns about losing connections with my friends & acquaintances. My best friend, who isn't in any of the groups listed above, is currently living in London, we chat everyday, all day on Facebook messenger - how would I survive without talking to him any time I wanted? Even though I'm not super close with my acquaintances, I still like them, I'm still interested in what goes on in their lives, I still like their posts - how will I be updated on their lives; how will I see their cute kids, puppies, selfies, or foodporn? If I'm being completely honest, I also had concerns about my friends/acquaintances not knowing what was going on in my life - would my gym favorites know that I busted my ass today if they don't see it on Facebook; would my ex remember how cute I am if he doesn't see that selfie; how could I prove to the world how awesome my life is?! 

But that is exactly why I accepted this challenge - none of that matters. I don't need to prove to the world how awesome my life is. I don't really care what my ex thinks of me. I don't need to prove to anyone that I kicked ass in the gym, or ate well, or got new glasses, or whatever. So, at midnight tonight (just under 5 hours) I'm deactivating my accounts, deleting the apps, & using my phone as just that - a phone.

Here's to emails, phone calls, text messages, lunch dates, dinner plans, happy hours, sweat sessions, flirting in person, girl's night in, & ladies' night out. Here's to putting my phone down & making REAL connections. We got this!

Woman Crush Wednesday

I must admit, I am not much of a hashtag user when it comes to social media. I use #blessed in an ironic way, I never had a #mcm / #mancrushmonday, & I make up long hashtags when I don't feel like captioning a photo. Search #firstdayofspringicecream on Instagram & the only picture you will see is me licking an ice-cream cone.

But today I do have a #wcw / #womancrushwednesday…MYSELF! I'm not being cocky or conceited - I spent a lot of my life hating myself & it took what seems like forever to get to a point where I love myself. I took the time to do what made my soul happy. I rid myself of fake friends & toxic people. I started to embrace the time I spent with myself. I realized that my struggle was not my identity.

Obviously, this is not the best picture of me - I have no makeup on, my hair is a mess, & I have a ratty t-shirt on. But, I'm happy & my heart is filled with joy because this picture captures me spending quality time with my favorite little dude.

Once I accepted who I am, flaws & all, I no longer needed anyone else to accept me. I am obsessed with being a strong woman, comfortable in her own skin. I'm a work in progress, my life is constantly under construction, I know I'm not perfect, but I can say that I finally love who I am - unfortunately, not a lot of women can say that.

Sending positive vibes that every girl in this harsh world loves herself.

Ghosting

I have a love/hate relationship with dating. Dating can be awesome...meeting new people, exploring new places, flirting, getting butterflies, dressing up, cuddling, stepping out of your comfort zone. Mornings seem easier, nights become more fun, work doesn't seem so unbearable…it's awesome. But it also sucks. I hear these ancient stories of courtship, where people would be asked out on dates in person; people would call their sweethearts & actually talk to them on the telephone; deep interpersonal connections were made, in person; couples would take it slow, enjoy the moment, savor the relationship. This still happens in today's world, but these relationships seem far & few between.

Text messaging, emailing, & social media take the place of actual conversations. Relationships are defined based on a Facebook status or a profile picture. Instead of courting your person of interest, you seem to be courting your phone - constantly checking it to see if they sent you a message, liked your instagram picture, viewed your snap chat, when was the last time they were on Tinder,  did they tweet anything…the list goes on & on.

Not only are relationships established on that smart little phone of yours that has the ability to control your emotions, but they are also unestablished. The term "ghosting" is so common that I've heard my mother drop it in everyday conversation. Urban Dictionary, who defines everything from "ABC Sex" to "Zairb," has the perfect definition for ghosting. Basically, ignore the person until they go away.

It happens all the time, I have friends who have been ghosted by their serious boyfriends, I know plenty of people who lost interest so they stopped responding to their sweetheart, I'm pretty certain I have even ghosted my fair share of men. I was even ghosted on my birthday - boyfriend of 6 months was avoiding a fight (about bailing on my birthday plans) so he ghosted me.

It's the easy way out, but it is also cowardly. Problems don't just go away, issues aren't resolved by ignoring them, breakups aren't any easier if you just cease communication. It's disgusting that we live in a world where this behavior is tolerated. We allow ourselves to be used and abused when we accept ghosting as a breakup method - whether it's been 2 dates or 200.

Breakups are hard, they suck for all parties involved, but they are also where you grow. Breakups help you understand what went wrong, allow you to process the whole ordeal, & help you to grieve your relationship properly. As much as it sucks to tell a person you're no longer feeling it, it's far better to TELL them, than to ghost them.

Easy Homemade Pasta

In my opinion, cooking doesn't get much easier than opening up a box of noodles & throwing it in some boiling water. During a girls night in, one of my friends suggested we make homemade noodles. I was surprised at how easy they were to make, how few ingredients they required (I already had everything in my kitchen), & that I didn't need a noodle press. Side note: your kitchen counter/table & hands will get messy.

Much of this recipe is based on texture, so you may need to add more flour or olive oil to ensure you get that dough-y feeling. Below is are the amounts of ingredients that worked for us.

Ingredients:

2 cups of flour (plus a few tablespoons of flour to sprinkle on your counter/table)
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs
1/2 tablespoon olive oil

Directions:

Start boiling a large pot of water.

Place 2 cups of flour directly on your counter/table, creating a mound with a well in the middle. Sprinkle the 1/2 teaspoon salt over the flour. Add 4 eggs to the flour well.

With your hands, mix together the flour & egg, for about 5 minutes. As the mixture gets a little dry, add the 1/2 tablespoon olive oil.

Once all mixed together, and the dough is the consistency of a wet play-dough, place the dough in plastic cling wrap & let it sit out (in room temperature) for 10 minutes.

Use this 10 minutes to clean your counter/table.

Sprinkle a few tablespoons of flour on your counter/table. Remove the dough from the plastic cling wrap, & roll it out with a rolling pin. Roll the dough so it is very thin, almost see-through.

Using a pizza cutter (or a knife), cut the dough into thin strips that look like fettuccini noodles. As you can see from the picture, we folded the dough a few times before cutting the noodles, but this step isn't necessary.

Add the noodles to the boiling water. Fresh noodles take far less time to cook than dried pasta, so keep an eye on your noodles, stirring constantly. Once the noodles are thoroughly cooked, about 5 minutes, strain the water.

Serve with olive oil, sprinkled cheese, garlic, pesto sauce, alfredo sauce, marinara sauce, or however you prefer to eat your pasta! Enjoy your creation!

Father, Almighty

I've constantly struggled with my religion; I've tried to have a connection with God, I've attended mass, I've gone to church events, I've read the bible, I went to Catholic school, I wore the uniform, I've studied the history - none of it has clicked with me. I have talked to people who swore their relationship with God has saved them, I wish I understood, but I just can't.

It's no secret that I have a toxic relationship with my father - I always have. The man said & did some pretty terrible things to me that would forever impact my relationship with men. I struggle with trusting others, I don't always see my value, & my self-confidence can be pretty low…it doesn't take a psychologist to tell you this would happen, considering daddy dearest constantly reminded me that he wishes my mother had an abortion, or that he thought I was a waste of a blow job, all while asking if I could just leave him alone since he has his own family now.

I recently had a realization that not only has my relationship with other men been impacted, but so has my relationship with God. Think about it - almost every religion has God as a patriarchal figure. "Our Father, who art in heaven…" If the only example you have of a father is that of shit, how can you establish a quality relationship with the Father Almighty? How can you put your trust & faith into a figure when you can't even trust the one man who is supposed to love you unconditionally? How can you have a connection with religion when you don't even have a connection with your flesh & blood?

I just can't seem to make the ultimate connection with God given the only father figure I had growing up proved I was unworthy.

It's amazing how one person can make such a huge impact on your life. I know that my existence has a positive impact on this world; I know I am a good person; I know I have value; I know I am a good friend; I know I am not a burden; I know I am smart, kind, beautiful, & funny. I KNOW these things, but I don't always realize them. I put up walls with everyone, God included.

They say love concurs all; I've begun to love myself, therefore, I can overcome anything.